Why Can’t I Leave

            I can’t believe he loves me but let me tell you so. I can’t leave because no matter what I know my husband loves me. He says it every day. He not only states it with words but his physical love hits home. I have learned to be the good wife and lessen my mistakes. I’ve learned to be the perfect wife when we’re at home or we’re out on a date. Yes my husband takes me out and we are truly great together.  I hope one day love will make my husband stay but until then I won’t leave because I love him more than hate.

            Yeah, I must admit the way he says he loves me might make me black and blue but I’m sure he love me aren’t you.  Nothing says it better than his right hook and that backhand when I am already crying and can’t stand. He says it so often I can’t believe he doesn’t care. When he comes home from the bar with the boys and had too many drinks, a bad day at work, even when dinners late he shows his love straight to my face. After he’s done he utters I love you and you’re so great but no one will love you better than me.  He’s got me wrap in his grasp but I do believe he loves me don’t you. Now he’s not like this all the time especially when friends are around he is that charming great looking guy I said I do too. In my spare time I spend most of my day covering my bruises up with my make-up and when people ask I’m so use to saying I fell or tripped I don’t know what’s up.

My friends look at me and scream baby that’s hate but they don’t know him like I do his love is great.  I defend him when they know he’s the reason why my face is screaming hate. I tell them he does love me I just make him that way. It’s my fault and beside he says he loves me and he’s truly is great.  He just touched my face too hard because dinner was late. I forgot he was coming home early and I hesitated to find the right meal to make. I got tons of excuses that I can make.  He loves to hate me but ladies he’s great. He truly is I can’t believe that I was blessed with this great fate.

My plea, God I know he loves me my bruises tell me so. Why would he think enough to hurt me if it wasn’t so? He tells me I look good and I have a heart of gold he tells me don’t look at another because he can’t control his rage he feel inside his soul. I try to do my best to compliment us both but he just has this look that breaks my soul. I know he will be with me until the ends of the earth but God I must admit that he takes the sane from my soul. I look like hell and yes I want better for myself but he makes me feel like garbage, and destroys my very worth. Yeah the garbage I have learned to throw out meal after meal but I can’t let him go. I’m sorry that I brought this to your door, but I have to find the strength to not endure his pain that he gives from his hand to my face. God I hope you have a plan because I’m not strong enough to walk away.

God help me develop the courage to leave. I know his love hurts sometimes but god oh god it’s just me. I know I make him mad it’s all me I try so hard but he won’t let me be. He beats, bruises, curses me with every growing move; however, I groan, cry, but still he loves me. I’m trying to leave but why oh why can’t I leave. This loves insane but he’s got me. How can I leave how do I say good-bye? If I watch another women go through this I would certainly tell her to leave, but I know what she’s going to say to me. I can’t believe I say he’s right for me when he hurts me more than you know. I’m ready to leave but I don’t know how. He’s got everything job, money and the house. I could crash on a friends couch but how long could I stay. I’m sorry so sorry that this is happening to me and I feel like I have to stay.

I now know I have to leave because his love hurts me but, where do I start I can’t face him as I leave. I’m sorry but I got to do this for me. I know it’s wrong but I never lived on my own. I just got to make a new start. When he comes to look for me I have to make sure I don’t go. This is so hard for me because I know my husband love me. I have to start living for me and knowing that one day I will find someone that truly loves me. I’m so scared by what my husband has done to me.

If this is your story you do have to leave. Abuse goes on and when it is in a relationship you never put up with abuse. I learned one thing in life and love doesn’t hurt. When someone thinks that hitting you is the best way to show they love you, you need to leave. Also, understand that if he hits me once he will hit me twice. Don’t look at what you’re doing as wrong because you are doing nothing wrong. This isn’t your fault it is his. It is time to leave because no matter what you do he will always hit you.

If you are too prideful to talk to a friend about the abuse you are going through then you can use the aid of the many shelters in your state. You should not feel shameful for what you are going through the thing you should concentrate on is getting out for you before it’s too late. As a woman on the outside looking in at your relationship I’m truly sorry that you went through so much pain but with strength you can make it through leaving.

 

 

By DeAndra Watley

Primary Aug 7th

We have an upcoming primary on Aug 7^th It is important that we all get out and vote. See you can’t complain if you never take the time to do. Most say primary isn’t important it is you want your best going up against their best… I’m hungry enough to want to see changes in Michigan right now and you should be hungry too… My Facebook friend s you will be happy to know I’m not running for anything; so you can all breathe a sigh of relief…  Also, we all know that if I lead you to water, I’m gonna push you in just on G.P. So I leave the running to folks that can handle you.

First the DIA Michiganders we need this to stay open; we grew up with it why shouldn’t our kids grow up with the DIA. I loved when Wayne State University stressed me out the DIA was always there for me, I could walk across the street sit on the steps and think or walk in and it always had something new for me…  We keep taking from our kids now wonder why they just choose to break into your house… NO option is provided for them.

13^th Congressional District we have running

Goci- Don’t know enough to make an informed decision.

Jackson- Don’t know enough to make an informed decision

Which leads me to Anderson- Anderson is my Senator right now and I think I e-mailed you 2 years ago and I still am awaiting a response from you. At this point I won’t hold my breath, but it shows me that if you didn’t take the time then what makes me think you will take the time now… Wait, I’m important now because it’s election time.  Also, how long have you been a senator and what have you done?

Well I can say the questioned I posed to Anderson 2 years ago another senator answered which leads me to… Johnson every time I ask him a question he gets back to me the same day. He says things like, “I can’t do it without you.” He wants a working relationship with his voters and goes out of his way to build that relationship. Every time I hear him speak he gets me charged up like there is still hope for Michigan. Call me selfish but I also like the fact that we have a 3 year age difference between us; so, the same things he’s fighting for will benefit me as well like retirement and having the most money… Most people in our age group have kids he does too so every time he fight a fight for his children it’s like a victory for yours…  So I ask that you take some time out and YouTube him or email him before the upcoming primary.

Conyers- Way too old to have the younger person’s vision in mind. It’s hard to understand how someone forty or younger can relate to Mr. Conyers and apparently he is running on name recognition because I have not received one piece of paperwork from him. Oh wait just got a robo call saying I’ll get something.  When I think of Mr. Conyers my next thought is about the civil rights movement; so however, I can’t knock Mr. Conyers because he stood up and made a difference when it was needed in this country.  Furthermore, if I was fighting for rights I would gladly call on Mr. Conyers but I’m taking care of my family and trying to feed myself. “I NEED MORE.”  Do you remember when we elected President Obama his slogan was “change.” I took that to mean people in office now, not doing a thing for you shouldn’t be in office representing my views.                                                                            

 Now let’s turn our attention to another primary for the 11^th District for State Representative it has come down to 2 opponents Cody Bailey and David Knezek. I say it comes down to these two because I can’t remember the others democrats running at this point. I would just like to say this, one has to loose and I call this a loose, loose for Michigan. I have talk to both of these gentlemen and have enjoyed both of their ideas… I could see both as Governor or President someday… So I expect great things from these awesome guys one day… Prove me right gentlemen….  I’m gonna share something I like about each…  Starting with David only because you’re older…

Knezek – is a military man which they make incredible leaders. If you can fight for your countries beliefs in a war then still come home and still want to fight for people you have my seal of approval. Knezek, is also a substitute teacher as I so we shared stories and had a few laughs. As he told me what he was going to do for Michigan I agree with him.

Bailey-is still young enough to think that there is still some good in this world and its people. Not cynical yet. So he wants to work with you… The passion that he has for people at his young age is incredible. I truly believe that he wants to do go by you and for you….I agreed with his vision for Michigan….

So I urge that if you like me and can’t choose between the two call them, e-mail them and differently go to their web site and read about them.

I was so serious with you guys and now I blow all my credibility with my closing statement , but you are my Facebook friends  and you understand I love a good laugh… the only bad thing I have to say about Bailey or Knezek  neither one gave me a shirt or asked me to be their token black…. OMG I Make myself laugh….  

Thirty and Flirty

The true definition of confidence is: having or showing assurance and self-reliance. How many of us have self-assurance and how long did it take to get it, and was it a struggle to get to that point? Did you have confidence at birth, did confidence come overnight? Whichever, way you got your confidence doesn’t matter, what matters is how are you going to make your confidence work for you? It’s not hard and if you don’t have confidence you will find it in this article. Do you have what it takes to be thirty and flirty? My guess is yes if you’re reading this article.

 Having confidence in oneself is a must; I’m not talking about the confidence where you have to convince yourself in order to believe it. I’m talking about award winning confidence when you walk into a room and you take a look around and you leave with what you came there for that’s confidence. As we get older and still single we lose that ability to be confident in oneself. However, in your thirties you should take back that flirty confidence and not worry about anything else. It’s all about that positive attitude, and the way you carry yourself.  Just because you are a little bit older doesn’t mean that you lost your way, you just need to change your style so it can get you to where you want to be.

Just in case you have lost a step or two, I thought this helpful guide will bring you back to your sexy confidence. Now this is just a guide if you don’t wear this confidence with pride you will lose and that’s something you don’t want to do. If you are like me you don’t want to lose and you have no reason to lose if you’re confident enough. Knowing this is half the battle when you want to flirt with confidence by your side. The next time you go out use this guide with confidence and watch yourself get the one thing you came there for. As well as watch all the other people wonder how you walk out getting the one thing they wanted and they were not confident to get.

First and for most let’s talk attitude. Attitude is the key to winning  the game. Being positive helps you know exactly where you are going and who you are. That smile on your face placing all odd in your favor even when you don’t feel like smiling. Trusting that you have better qualities’ than anyone else out there that’s the key to winning the game. That attitude places that confidence in your behavior. Having that attitude each and every time you wake up is a must.

Appearance matter because if you’re in clothes that you’re not happy about it won’t make you feel all that confident. Always dress your best when you go out. Dress for you and what makes you happy. Not that trampy skirt but the one just short enough to get that look of sexiness within, just by showing some skin. Skin is in but too much just makes you look like a harlot. Furthermore, putting on that sexy shirt you own just out of your closet the one that shows just enough cleavage but not enough to make all the other girls look at you like you are easy for the night. Feeling sexy is the way to go to keep the confidence going. Your hair and makeup done just right wow you are impress with how you look. It’s not easy but it sure will makes you feel confident when you go out.

Ready for the town where should you go with all your confident sexiness. You pick that one new spot that you been hearing about. So you can try out all your sexy flintiness’.  You walk into that club with a smile and all odds are in your favor. I was once told “I could work a room.” I never know what that meant until I understood the gift I had, which was I could at least get the attention of everybody in that room through my smile. My smile is warm and inviting and makes you feel at ease. Which makes you an approachable individual and softens all the hard qualities in you isn’t easy at times but makes this one of the times where easy does it.

You are looking sexy and feeling sexy and at the biggest hot spot you could find. Flirting will come natural because it’s the best way to break the ice with a person. It’s just all around fun way to meet perhaps the man of your dreams. But just in case you are a newbie here are some helpful hints. Yes, you want to make eye contact with someone looking at you but don’t stare be the one to look away first. It keeps him interested in you. Once you have his interest he will come over and ask can I set down. Let him but also, don’t be too eager for him to take that seat next to you.

Once he is their next to you be yourself, real and confident. Make your eye contact; laugh at the most corniest jokes because you will hear a lot. Be warm and open as you should be because you are being notice. If you can touch his arm this lets him know that you are interested. Now for some positive body language pose your body right in front of him. So it won’t be hard to touch him. Encourage that eye contact as you talk to him. When that night is over remember to tell him how much fun you had with him.

You have learned all the secrets I know about being thirty and flirty. Thirty and flirty is great if you do it right. If you use your guide you know flirting won’t be the problem you encounter it’s the confidence that won’t let you get disappointed. Practice having those positive qualities’ that will leave you feeling your best with confidence and knowing that you will leave with what you want. Thirty and flirty that’s your best.

Thirty and Wishing I Knew This in My Twenties

Have you ever set back and wondered were there rules to life. A lot of us have to learn the hard way in order to say we have learned. God if I knew the stuff that I know now I would be queen. Questions in life that you have to find the answers too; life really is that mystery when you’re young. No rule book that says if I do this, this will happen, well I don’t want that to happen, okay honey then don’t do this. Yeah we are taught that we have consequences in life but twenty doesn’t understand it like thirty. We live the wrong life, by loving the wrong people and not understand that life really is short so that apology you have been putting off really is needed. The hating yourself because that NO really was needed. Here are all the things I wish I knew in my twenties but had to learn the hard way by the time I was thirty.

1.    That tan line really is a wedding ring. Shocked but yes he would put that ring in his pocket as he sees you walk by. He might want to get to know you, but he is not going to leave his wife. As sad as it may seem just as long as he’s not spending his hard earned money on you his wife won’t care. Sex is just the basic of this relationship and calling him one too many times will end it.  

2.    After, dating one brother it’s probably not wise dating the other even after a few years pass. Yeah, the whole time you are with one brother your thinking wow that other brother is cute is he thinking about me. Not a smart move you really are the bad guy here. Brothers stick together and you just got played by both; furthermore, they are not up in the middle of the night thinking about you. They just make a commit at a family dinner how sick and freaky you are and move on to someone more suitable.

3.    If he acts like a douche bag that first day hey guess what he really is a douche bag. That first impression really does matter. If he acts like he is the center of attention and you should be pleased to be with him hello ladies he is a douche. If he never listens to one word you say all night hey he is a douche.

4.    I do love him but he just doesn’t love me the way he should, so sex really won’t make the relationship better. I had a guy tell me once “sex confuses things,” so true sex only makes you feel that you are where you should be. Sex and happiness don’t go hand and hand. You hear so many things, “sex makes the world go round,” and “just the motion in the ocean.”

5.    Being nice to man makes them feel like they have the upper hand and they will take advantage of you. I’m sure we have all heard those famous words “I will pay you back,” or “trust me I have your best interest at heart.” Well, I’m not saying you’re stupid but you wanted to trust someone that wasn’t trust worthy the young and dumb got a hold of you in your twenties.

6.    That cute guy really doesn’t have much but that cuteness working for him. Yeah stay away from that pretty face he’s shallow and he knows he looks good. He's just out with you because he thinks you’re an easy mark. He really doesn’t have much to talk about except the fact that he’s cute. He really is that cute face save you a lot of time and run much better now than later staying around with cute stuff.

7.    Being smarter and stronger emotionally when in a relationship really does keep a guy away. It’s ok to show case your talent and let someone know how smart you are. Being smart is great, pick a guy that isn’t threaten by what you know. Not crying when most people would is okay too; sometimes you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. You being able to handle your own needs makes a man feel like you don’t need him well if he doesn’t understand you do need him, more on. He is a waste of time if he can’t let you be and do you move on.

8.    Being yourself and really saying accept me for who I am really is best. In life you need to understand you really know who you are and be that person. Being that pretty model that doesn’t eat much is not you; you’re just gonna get mad one night and eat everything in the house. Think yourself as powerful and the best that you can be so love it and be it.

9.    Where does that doctor, lawyer, or politician hang out he really is best. He might not look the best but he’s really is going places. He can handle your smartness and he sees beauty in your knowledge. He actually wants to talk to you. Smartness does not threaten him it turns him on.  Wait he might really like you.

10. It’s not too late to make a change. Change is good. Change is strong and should happen as many times as you need to make yourself feel better. When change occurs your making yourself grow and happy. Out with the old and in with the new. Never let someone tell you that change isn’t good.  It’s never too late for change.

Heal through your wounds and grow and learn that you are somebody. There will be pain in life most call those growing pains I call them life’s long lesson. The truth is I was once this girl I went through this and so much more. We don’t have a handbook but wouldn’t life be so much better if we did. We grow as we get older and most times we look back and say we will never do that again. My experiences diffidently made me who I am, but it would have been nice not to have to cry myself to sleep because I didn’t understand that man I was with. Now you have the upper hand because it really is okay to walk away.

If I had it all over to do again I would be queen. Twenties are meant for mess ups but if you are not learning from your mess ups then you didn’t learn your twenties are over. Let the pass be the pass and move forward to better and brighter times. Here are just my life pains. How simple life would be if someone helped me grow and let me know that it’s okay to be me and me is best.

INTRO

I'm starting this blog because sometimes in a relationship or when you are out on a date you just have to ask myself, is he for real. You just have to wonder the individual that passes himself off as a suitable candidate for dating and love. I guess as a women many have asked themself the famous question; Is it me? The reply to that is;  I don’t think so!

By writing this blog I am hoping that these stories will help someone not make the same mistakes I've done. Also, figuring out what you want to put up with before it’s too late. Spending the rest of your life with someone is the most important decision you will ever make. When you are past your twenties you naturally start looking for someone to make a home with. Its like the saying goes "Got to kiss a few frogs to find your prince." God knows I know about those frogs and yet I still wait for my prince charming. So here are some real life stories that I came up with so the next time you are out with someone you can ask yourself "Are They Foreal."